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Two thirds of cancers are down to sheer bad luck, which means for about 133 types of cancer we are at the same risk if we live on fruit and exercise, as a diet of lard sandwiches.

But here at Death and Disease, we asked…when was the last time you bought lard and why?

You dived into the larder and responded in reams!

Your answers revealed that an impressive 64% of you buy lard.

Amongst those using it for human consumption:

James uses it to make the perfect chips, Lindsey to make pork pies, Alan to make bubble and squeak and Caroline to make welsh cakes. You are all invited to do the catering at the next D+D team meeting.

Many of you were staunch advocates of beef dripping and Jane would rather eat a pig than a scientist. We’re with you Jane.

The non-food users included:

Darren uses it to prevent burns when ironing shirts. Like the tip Darren but we wondered if taking your shirt off before ironing it might be an easier way to achieve the same aim?

Luci had a ‘friend’ who got her BF all excited by baisting him in lard and wrapping him in clingfilm (we feel we have lived very sheltered lives here at D+D…). She then congealed his ardor by locking him in the garden and laughing at him out of the window. Who are we to judge…!

Kirsty and Lindy melt it into creamy globules, add seeds and feed it to wild birds. PJ had a similar idea in a non-ornithological context that is not suitable for printing in a family blog.

And finally, Nicki imagined her only use of lard was to help her slip and slide around her bathtub. Sounds like high-spirited rosy-cheeked jolly japes to us Nicki!

The Winner

Slipping and sliding out of the larder was this week’s winner, Emma “I’d rather buy San Miguel” Simpson – Well done! Please contact us to claim your prize.

The countdown has begun to Friday 27th March when the next Death and Disease competition (Mary, the much-married serial killer edition) goes live.

And if this gave you a good giggle, please share it with your friends.

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