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Last week the Death and Disease team were at Duggleby Barrow – an ancient landmark masquerading as a mound of earth – pretty impressive considering it was created more than 5000 years before the first iPhone.

Inside the mound are the remains of over 60 human beings (including one with a suspicious looking round hole in its skull) as well as beaver’s teeth, wild boar tusks, and flint weapons laid alongside the dead.

Here at Death and Disease we were wondering: when you die, what artefacts would you like to be buried with?

Amused and bemused by your answers, we’ve captured the best below. Read on to find out who’d take a tipple, who’d take the TV and who take their ex wife…! And if you won.

31% of entrants were concerned they might be just sleeping – a common concern until the advent of modern medicine (see our next competition for more on this!) Many of you would take along a fully charged mobile phone just in case, while the more practical Emily would take a megaphone and Keith would choose a hand axe, pick and a head torch.

Maybe the beaver’s teeth were there to enable the prehistoric not-quite-dead to gnaw their way out of the barrow?

Booze and food were also a common feature. Adrian and Mark were among the many who would take a tipple to the grave. Jane and Katie would take their beloved Yorkshire Tea and Sue, a bottle of pop and a packet of wine gums. You can’t beat a sugary sweet on a long trip…

Gail (who crunches data for a living) thought it would be ‘Excel’lent if she could be buried between spread sheets. Yes (pronounced ‘ears’). We give that joke 7 out of 10 Gail 🙂

Clive doesn’t want to be buried (are you hoping for a burning Viking longboat Clive?) but if it’s a must, an ice-making machine is on his list – to keep him cool.

Mark would take his ex wife to annoy her for the rest of eternity…interestingly, this answer amused the married members of the Death and Disease team considerably more than those yet to take the plunge…

Sally would take 50 shades of grey and something that we don’t feel we can mention sold by Mrs A. Summers et al. That’s one way to keep rigor mortis at bay Sally!

Barrie quite righly points out that you need nothing when you’re dead. We are guessing Barrie, that your middle name isn’t Tutankamun… (though wouldn’t that be a splendid middle name to have?!)

And we must finally mention Irene who simply wants to network – in heaven or hell, she’ll be there, as ready as ever. Meet. Like. Know. Trust. Die.


First out of the burial chamber this week is Sue ‘£20, pop and a packet of wine gums’ Simpson. Congratulations! Please get in touch to claim your prize.

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